The Dreaded Question
There is a question that I have come to hate and recognize as the death knell to any conversation that I am having with a person of the opposite sex with whom I am enjoying a pleasant intercourse (and I mean that in the most innocent of terms - you know an exchange of information rather than of bodily fluids).
DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
Geez, how do you correctly respond to this question? — Especially if you have found yourself in the middle of some kind of vague unclassified relationship (not saying that is the case with me but…) ? First off if you are not interested in the individual - in the romantic sense - this sets off the warning bell that this person is probably interested in you so is the appropriate response to:
A. Say no but let them know right away in no uncertain terms that there is no way in hell that you would be interested in dating them (but you know in a kind of polite way).
B. Say yes you do have a boyfriend that works out three times a day and is intensely jealous and ohhh look here he comes now…
C. Explain how your last boyfriend broke your heart and left you with two sets of twins to raise all on your own (if you can make your eyes water and voice break during the telling it is all for the better).
And the correct answer is:
D. All of the above. Once this question works its way into the conversation friendship with the said individual is out of the question. Choose whichever response will give you the most hoots and giggles and have fun with it.
Other potential fun responses could be:
A. I am a lesbian — dangerous though because this tends to attract guys even more.
B. Let them know that you don’t have a boyfriend, that you are searching for that certain someone that completes you - your soulmate. You are really looking for someone sensible and steady to love one another forever, settle down and raise a family with (you want at least 5 {more} children). You are ready to get married…actually you feel a really strong bond with him - does he feel it too?…(get the picture?)
C. No your boyfriend died in a tragic motorcycle collision with a Pace Picante Sauce truck last month (enter tears and voice breaking) now you feel closest to him whenever you dance salsa - excuse yourself.
October 5th, 2005 at 9:13 pm
jajaja, good ones.
In Argentina that’s not such a common question (most guys will go for it without risking prior rejection ~that such question could allow~).
If you are enjoying a conversation with an Argentinean guy that you have no romantic interest on I recommend for you to AVOID eye contact at all times, keep moving your head and eyes as if you are looking for someone between the crowd. An instant of eye contact WILL most likely translate in his tongue inside your mouth (and you won’t even saw it coming!).
Also, Argentineans ain’t as “slow” (for lack of a better describing word ~but not at all to be taken in a negative or pejorative way~) as Americans. If you are in a pub and a guy who is interest in you approaches (how you know this: duh! If says “hi” or anything at all or if he even looks at you for more than 3 seconds then he is interested!) you must decide: yes or no!
If it’s a no, well, my favourite response is simply saying: “Man, don’t waste your time (nor mine)” and sometimes I add: “You don’t have a chance!”
But I must be either tired of listening too many lame lines in one night or in that special bitchy mood (when being extra harsh seems fun)
Also I may simply turn my back on him or simply ignore him as if he didn’t existed, as if I couldn’t see him.
Foreign may find this behaviour rude, but let me tell you: In Argentina we have the hottest guys, but unfortunately be must go through a long selection process during which hundreds of misfortunate, lame, ugly-looking (I know it sounds shallow, but it’s true) guys that you must push away… later on I secure you’ll meet a breath taking Argentinean man.
October 11th, 2005 at 9:55 am
Then there’s the ever effective responce of, “No, but I am a nymphomanic incapable of having a stable relationship, but always open for a night of hedonistic pleasure.” Try it!